The Virgina House of Delegates on Wednesday approved a measure that could protect Virginia residents from overbearing employers, and possibly the apocalypse. The law would make it illegal to implant an identification or tracking device into a person's body without their written consent.
Call me crazy, but did someone think that would be legal prior to the passage of this law? Is there some sort of pro-"I want to implant microchips into your body discreetly" movement I'm not aware of?
"My understanding -- I'm not a theologian -- but there's a prophecy in the Bible
that says you'll have to receive a mark, or you can neither buy nor sell things
in end times," Del. Mark L. Cole, the bill's sponsor, told the Post. "Some
people think these computer chips might be that mark."
Oh. Apparently, the Antichrist is trying to put microchips into our bodies, and the Virginia House of Delegates just stopped the rise of the Antichrist. And all this from a non-theologian? Don't be so humble, Delegate Cole.
The Biblical justification for this is from Revelation 13:16-17 (KJV, of course):
And he causeth all, both small and great, rich and poor, free and bond, to receive a mark in their right hand, or in their foreheads: And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name.
So Cole's worried that the Antichrist will literally put some creepy forehead marking on people. But is convinced that a law passed by the Virginia House of Delegates will fix everything.
Apparently, Cole didn't read far enough, because had he made it to the next chapter, he would have seen the opposing side:
And I looked, and, lo, a Lamb stood on the mount Sion, and with him an hundred forty and four thousand, having his Father's name written in their foreheads.
So if "mark on your forehead" is some sort of Bible slang for "microchips implanted inside your body," both sides are going to be outlawed. And which side do you think is more likely to obey the law?
So Virginia's House of Delegates may have either: (a) thwarted the Antichrist, unwittingly disproving the Bible; (b) created a huge nightmare of paperwork for the 144,000 before they can get their foreheads marked; or (c) passed a law embarassing Christians everywhere, because of their refusal to see any metaphoric possibilities for prophesy.
Of course, the one with Biblical precedence is (c), where in John 2:19, Jesus says, "Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up." He's referring to His Body, of course. But the people, not getting that prophesies are often metaphoric, take him literally, and have Him sentenced to death for this assault on the Temple of Jerusalem (Matthew 26:61). This, ironically, fulfills His actual prophesy. If the pattern holds, maybe we shouldn't count out the possibility that Virginia just unwittingly ushered in the Antichrist in their misguided zeal?